Monday, February 14, 2011

doing and act normal

I've HAD this friend. wondering why HAD to be in capital letters? I'll tell why...

once, when I was in primary, I've HAD this friend. her name D****. well, we weren't that close though we were in the same class when we were in standard 5. she was more closer to syiqin. and then, when we moved on to standard 6, we were in the same gang with the rest of my still remaining friends. and...yeah! you can say that she's my best friend that time.

and then...secondary. she's being okay till form 3. we went to the same tuition centre and everything started. sometimes...I wondered. am I one of the reasons that she's changed? because I know. she's not who she is now. my dearie friend have actually changed to a complete slut!

she met with new guys during tuition and actually hooked up with one of our guy friends. at first I wasn't that agree with her decision but when he actually promised me that he'll never neglected her, so I was pretty okay with that idea that they are together. moving on to form 4, she started mixing around with nonsense and craps! she broke up with him and definitely that is not his fault at all. knowing her and her changes, I just know that it's totally her fault that they've broke up.

and so...her new so-called-friends influenced her to become from good to bad. and day by day, from bad to worse. she started to lie to her parents. going around everywhere with anonymous guys. acting naive when she's actually a bitch. it's sickening to see her that way but if she...herself are acting normal about that, then I think I shouldn't have been wasting my time being concerned...right?

so...I don't really give a damn to whatever she's being doing lately till towards the end of last year. I actually met and knew this one guy. his from somewhere around here. we were doing good till I found out that this slut actually is friends with him. okay fine. it's his right to be friends with whoever he wants.

till last week I found out they actually are TOGETHER! dahlah tak bagitahu kat saya yang dorang tu sebenarnya berkawan. lepas tu couple pulak!

macam mana lah aku tak baran dengan kau. aku kawan kau pun kau sanggup nak tikam dari belakang. padahal kau tahu aku dengan H***** tu macam mana. lagi mau makan sekaki ke? sedarlah sikit wahai slut. kalau aku tak kenal dia...dengan kau pun dia tak kenal kau tahu tak! orang macam kau ni...patutnya dari dulu lagi tak berkawan dengan aku kalau perangai kau jadi macam ni. menipu mak bapak. meleser tak tentu pasal. aku tak cakap aku baik tapi at least aku tak sesenangnya nak ikut jantan ke hulur ke hilir. kau memang hebatlah slut. dulu beria ria cakap dengan aku, pape hal pun BFF! taik kau lah! BFF aku takkan buat aku macam ni. BFF aku respect aku as BFF dia. kau memang tak layak nak jadi BFF even kawan aku pun. aku serius jijik dengan kau. perangai kau nie...sebenarnya lagi teruk dari A***** tau. at least dia tak pernah nak makan aku dari belakang. dia attack aku depan-depan. tapi kau? kawan aku sendiri makan aku dari belakang. you don't deserve me as your friend la wei!!

so that is how a friend, became...I don't know. History maybe? people quoted, let be our love is the first and the last but never make friendship one.

but I say different. let friendship be the first and last it when we don't need it.

xoxo
=)

Monday, February 7, 2011

Rumput Dan Kasih Sayang | iluvislam.com + discover the beauty of islam

Rumput Dan Kasih Sayang | iluvislam.com + discover the beauty of islam

recovered

orang lain sibuk beraya...saya pula berkelubung seharian kat bawah selimut yang tebal-tebal coz demam panas dan suhu badan yang hampir mencecah 40 darjah. kena cucukkan lagi di bahagian punggung saya.hadoii! painful kot! doctor cakap kalau tak kebah jugak, kena ambik blood test sebab takut denggi pulak.
but...Alhamdullillah. demam saya dah ok. it's just that masih batuk and selesema. deria bau dan rasa saya masih belum berfungsi 100% sepenuhnya. tapi kira ok la sebab demam dah ok.hee

xoxo
=)

Thursday, February 3, 2011

February...


well peeps. the month of love is finally here. it ain't have any meaning for me thou but I do appreciate this month as my parents were tied in their matrimony 19 years ago on the 21st feb 1992. and my sister were also born on in this month, 11th feb 1999. few of my cousins are also celebrating their birthdays in this month. and that is why I fell so much love in this month.


and...haha. I still can't get over him it seems. it's not that I didn't try but I guess...his just too hard for me to resist you see. his like...urgh.! to be clear enough, YES! whenever I think of him..my heart pounds like no one's business and it hurts knowing that I'm fighting here to forget him and me..are nothing to him. unfair life it seems. but what can I do other than hoping that for just this time that I can just get rid of him from my thoughts! but I guess...his too "charming" to let go, isn't he? I still can't just forget for each words he told me last year. maybe when I meet someone new, this hatred might eased me just a little bit.

and yeah. am missing so many people right now. for example...


marsya, meah, farah z, jaja, syiqa,tira, aini.

dearest GML. haila...memang dah lama tak berkumpul together-gether. miss sangat time kat kelas dulu. gossip, drama, love, hate. it's naturally us. it's like...we were born to be a gang. padahal masa form 4, bertegur, HARAM! never kot! tapi bila form 5..macam sisters. even I think I'm closer to them rather than with my sister. haish. enjoyed their presence by my side last year. =)


nayzu and mimie.

mereka berdua ni. kapan agaknya kiterang nak kumpul balik. sorang kat kedah, sorang kat banting. memang utara dengan jawa betul. tapi nak buat macam mana kan...it's the way life is. the more we thought we could get together, the more apart we are. (ada gaya tulis hipotesis tak?hee). but seriously memang rindu gila dengan diorang nie. everytime jumpa pun sekejap sekejap jea. sungguh la tak aci.heesyh.

too much blabbering? here's a song...">rindu setengah mati by D'masiv. sesuai lah dengan mood saya yang tengah merindu ni. hah? rindu sapa? shuhh...

xoxo
=)

p/s: sampai sekarang, air mata belum mengalir lagi pasal dia.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

motion...

so far..am keeping on the track till this very day. sibuk memanglah sibuk but then dah mula rasa macam I can really bertahan lah. but who knows la kan later on macam mana.haih.

xoxo
=)

Monday, January 17, 2011

Back to December

I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life, tell me how's your family
I haven't seen them in a while
You've been good, busier then ever
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up and I know why

'Cause the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses and I left them there to die

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I'd go back to december all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing that I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to december, turn around and make it alright and
I go back to december all the time

These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed and I didn't call
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side,
Realized I loved you in the fall
And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I'd go back to december all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing that I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to december, turn around and change my own mind and
I go back to december all the time

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night,
The first time you ever saw me cry
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand

But this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I'd go back to december
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing that I'd realized what I had when you were mine and
I go back to december, turn around and make it alright and
I go back to december, turn around and change my own mind and
I go back to december all the time

xoxo
=)